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Chapter XV: What's the weather like?

past in Ireland, it was all gray , while windy and cold any .

At that time when I still had my crush- -hands-with-my-ass for immunize , I wrap myself fifteen times under my duvet mode Spring Roll " activated !

Hair acted as screen when the rain-cat's pee fell diagonally.
I was like well enough to Samara in The Ring . was great.

I typed the 69 night, alone, because it is funny heating had a limited lifespan and i like not many have snot-nosed every morning especially when I had no handkerchiefs ( but I had a scarf ).

I could have finished in lemon sorbet and die of hypothermia tranquillou .

The prospect was nice .

I could also eat like a bulimic obese to all hours of the day.

" T u understand ... It's cold so I have to make reservations for face the winter. That's why the Irish also have the build of whales. They store fat to protect themselves from global cooling planned for the next century ... QED.

And then I could drink without a pochtronne " U not Ptite Guinness to heat it all!"

was still the beautiful life

this rotten time.

Now the sun is more option, the sky is blue and it is hot to remake you think of the dead dried 2003.

You serve barbecue of open making you burn skin fourth degree when you got asked anything of anyone. You visibly enlarged just by watching people eat their ice XXL . you snort all day long the armpits of the rabble torrential ... seen that life is made when you're a Mini-Me ... (I'm not targeting anyone in particular)

And finally, you're o-bli-Gée of t'épiler every two days !

Because sweat, it makes water ,

And the water ca made sprinkler ...

type you cultivate your garden hairy , actually.

We did not have this problem when my hair was cryo ,
And they grew more the coup.

(I think my chest remained cryopreserved it, for cons).

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Chapter XIV: I'ma slave for you

In the space of a month and half, I became the female that I always dreamed : conscientious in my role as wife to the lab , excelled in only activities that can make me happy and fulfilling .

My desire to share with you my experiences, these wonderful stories are compiled into a book to be published shortly which will cost a whopping $ of 3,000,000 of doullars (payable in cash or in kind , I'm not very stingy ).

Previously on ...

*** Secrets *** Lady Caca

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Chapter 0: How I got caught in NUIG?

[...] I made extraordinary progress in practices ass inar s, so my doting " Liquid mud " homemade. To do this, no need to enter a expressly gastroenteritis and spend his free time to repaint her toilet bowl , secret of my head is simply a pissed urea and a teaspoon of glucose . Mix everything. And now, the small whitish soup is ready to be swallowed e .

[...] Thanks to an intensive training daily, the dishes became second nature to me. What I liked? Skip my finger in holes of Tubs poop, of course. The consistency of vaginal secretions is early, somewhat surprisingly al'agréable advantage but once abundant, they facilitate the passage of your mimine in slots. However, despite the frenzy felt at the sight of refuse to be treated, know avoid sudden movements too, keeping it easy on with the index and middle fingers to avoid damaging the walls previously moistened .

[...] The household was another celebration of to which I was entitled. And clearly, rub, polish or shine ... are all themes that a woman must of dominate. So do not neglect a shining in good and due form . Enter this opportunity as a perch that you tend , and go mistress of the task to which you were vested.

[... ] Caring for offspring ... was not an easy task! And yet I quickly realized that there was no more important than see my little bacteria grow darling . I will not repeat it enough, tame the beast requires a little practice ... But once the hand is there, the dressing the bug occurs as if by magic . However, attention to (bad) benefits due to inefficient farming.

[...] The exceptional talents of the Queen Pipe head explained why I had been led to work Gaul-way . Wielding like a seasoned professional, aspiration liquids, and called me does one Pro-Pipette . I also shone in the art of Agitation tubes. 30 seconds usually enough for my dexterity take effect: it was to drive a highly reciprocating back and forth for stimulating mixture of organic substances involved

[...] Finally, my happy day too ... consisted of complaints and groans . A few weeks were enough to build my reputation in the laboratory to the point that stooges of my tutors believed good relegate me to the rank of vulgar toy, using their presupposition birthright (and you can imagine, when I place it right there) for me lead to b (r) watch . I had therefore face the repeated assaults and viciously wild of slavery whose purpose was to assign me about their business, seeing such ostensibly leaving trainer and close to my eyes slit my accessories supplication, tubular handle, among other utensils masochistic. Dripping with a smile perverse , so they approached me, and inevitably, the feeling of their hands thank you pernicious and their dirty queries I am biting the lip and sighed s displeasure by displaying râlements suggestive. All this before having to move his lips and say a "Yes" clearly audible.

Fortunately my inability to say "No" and my prowess as a laboratory were any that staff could take Me ...

***

[Recognizing that the main issues governing its implementation are related to feces and sexual experimentation, the author disclaims all liability for all damage or injury moral / physical attributable to the potential incentive to practice anal ].

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Chapter XIII: (S) He's the one

All well had begun between us .

On a lovely afternoon in May, Colum me same entrusted the delicate task of fill a 50L tank excrémentées water, whereas surely that this task could now be my responsibility, for me, has little Asian trophiée brains.

then I accepted with joy this new load that was my responsibility, evidence of the esteem he carried me and climbed steps with success in my ascent into the realm of high Kingdom of Caca , to which I aspired so envy.

But here ... Shoo natural change their spots, old saying goes.

And maybe already at birth, one could predict that I would not be t ery very unglazed cerebellum. Even for tasks that require IQ of a lobotomized sparrow. perhaps have good, yeah.

These reasons explain why so , oozing from every pore for my hundred twelfth and last round trip as The conveyor , I had an idea so ingenious of ...

... me down the entire contents crap.

A good small shower of shits which will at least had the merit of teach me that shit , bah smells not very good.

**

In addition to losing my newly acquired privileges , I found myself then t annuity minutes later, hints vendors, to destroy the little honor that 'when I left, returning to see Colum , I told him of an Englishman most remarkable :

"I'm ALWAYS wet " *

I 'm still wet ...

* Do not worry this deficiency affects only 10% ^-10000 of a healthy population.

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I courageously braved various threats ...

flu ... Channel ... ... The heavens Icelandic (piiiiire!) ...

S ylvie ...

the ultimate goal offer my exceptional knowledge poop on the people Gaelic stunted brain.

Thus without noticing, I found myself quickly to be the clerk all manual tasks q ui broke the testicular ...

**

The sky was blue. The birds sang yet.

bucolic ambience stood landscape permeating the room with a scorching heat of 5 degrees.

This time that Colum , my master-of-stage-bis- that-I-always-thought-if call- Colon -but-who-after-blackberry-reflection-is-anyway-most-sexy-big-a-gut-that-leads-on-rectum , chooses to move towards me and ask me in a voice most sweet , sapphire blue eyes plunged into mine:

"Victoria ... Would you m. ..

Me ... prepare 50L wastewater ?"

Yes, want.

Because there are mornings I wake up and hop I say

"But what great day today ' Today!

I damn well in the hands pee!

LA! NOW! NOW! "

**

So while my brain was been explicitly exported come to disentangle the Irish of the inextricable situation created not their lack of culture and intelligence known, I had constantly to exercise new skills and functions which made me a person eminently important eliciting the admiration general position in the coveted ...

C e the the e-u Q i- T o u i the the has t-i the U e r e - C o m m e-P e r s o n n e .

(Indeed, it is usually faith s I put hands piss my hair feel invested Mission "We're going to do the remake of the Second World War and we t'em-meeeede! ".
O r, a lil touch and we would see who would annoy that ...)